Prayer for Victory

The following prayer was adapted from a prayer of the same name from the Carmina Gadelica. It invokes the favor of the goddess Boann and her son Áengus mac Óg. As the name implies, it is a good prayer to recite when you need success in any matter. Personally, I like tp recite it while bathing, or while standing outside in the sunshine.

Prayer for Victory

I bathe my face

In the nine rays of the sun,

As Boann bathed her son

In the rich fermented milk.

Honey be in my mouth,

affection be in my face;

The love that Boann gave her son

Be in the heart of all flesh for me.

All-seeing, all-hearing, all-inspiring may she be,

To satisfy and strengthen me;

Blind, deaf, and dumb forever be

My contemners and those who mock me.

The tongue of a druid in my head,

The eloquence of druids in my speech;

The composure of the Son of Youth

Be mine before the multitude.

 

Polytheism 101: Ritual

The third post in my "Polytheism 101" series will cover the basics of ritual. Though I will be referencing certain Kemetic viewpoints in regards to ritual, the actions and ideas behind them will be the same for any practicing polytheist. I feel I should also note that though this series is called "Polytheism 101," the ideas and methods shared here can be applied to just about any Pagan path.

There are a number of actions that many polytheistic/recon rituals share, and I have listed them below. These are what I consider to be the basic steps to performing a ritual.

Calling the deity
Before starting your ritual, you may find that it helps to invite your deities to join you. Some people call them by playing an instrument, ringing a bell, singing, or chanting. Others say a simple prayer, such as "Sekhmet, O powerful One, please join me for this ritual." Many also find it fitting to greet the deity with a bow. You can do any or all of these things. The most I do is ring a bell and call the deity's name before bowing.

Lighting the candle
In a Kemetic sense, the candle flame is representative of the sun and therefore the victory of Ra as he emerges from the underworld (or the forces of ma'at as they defeat the forces of isfet). Lighting the candle is also symbolic of Zep-tepi, The First Time, when Ra (or Atum, or whichever creator deity floats your boat) came into being and everything began. This isn't too far off from the meaning of the ritual flame in other traditions. The flame establishes the beginning of the ritual as the beginning of something new and significant, and/or the establishment of something powerful and good over the symbolic darkness. If you want to say a prayer while lighting a candle, something like "As Shapsu rises over the horizon, I light this candle" or "I light this candle for you, O Morrighan. May it shine as victoriously as you" will do.

Offering the incense
I read somewhere - and I can't remember for the life of me where exactly - that that the Egyptian word for incense (senetjer) means "to make divine." Whether or not this is true, and whether or not you follow a Kemetic path specifically, that phrase is fitting. Incense marks a space and moment as being sacred, and is very much beloved by the gods. And if you are anything like me, it goes a long way in putting you in a ritualistic headspace. I think it's also worth noting at this point that while both a candle and incense can be given as offerings in and of them selves, they both serve the purpose of establishing sacred space. For this reason I consider them to be ritual tools as much as they are offerings. If you wish, you can say something along the lines of, "I offer this incense to you, O Wepwawet. May its scent please you."

Libations
Libations are liquid offerings which are poured into a dish or, if your ritual is outdoors, onto the ground itself. Wine is commonly used, but other liquors, water, or milk can also be used. Since my practice is primarily Kemetic, I use water. In this context, the libation represents the life-giving abundance of the inundation. Of course, the theme of abundance and refreshment still works with other pantheons. You can accompany your libation with a prayer like "O Dadga, I pour this libation for you, that it will rejuvinate you."

Giving the food offering
At this point, it is time to give the food offerings. I often accompany these offerings with a prayer. You can say something simple, such as "O Brighid, please accept these offerings. May they satisfy and strengthen you." Only a small amount of food is needed to give to the gods. If you are having a feast as part of your ritual, you may choose to offer the entirety of the feast to the gods, in which case you would still give them their own portion of food.

Ritual action
Now is the time to perform your magic, meditate, pray, feast, or do whatever it is that you are performing the ritual to do. If consuming the food offerings is part of your practice, you will either eat them at this point, or wait until sometime after the ritual has concluded to return to the shrine and eat them. Kemetics call this "reverting the offerings," and only requires a simple prayer before you eat them, like "O Bast, receive your offerings from me." The majority of my rituals are done for the sole purpose of giving offerings to my gods, so I usually just take a couple of minutes here to pray, meditate, or just sit there quietly and enjoy the deity's company.

Closing the ritual
Kemetics know this as "removing the foot." Thank and bid farewell to the gods, extinguish the candle, and remove the libation and food offerings (or offering dishes if you have consumed them as part of the ritual action). If you intend to eat the offerings later, leave them at the shrine until you are ready to do so. Once you are ready to leave the shrine space, bow, then take a few steps backwards before turning away from the shrine.


And that's pretty much it. Hopefully now you're ready to perform your own rituals with confidence!


Other posts in the Polytheism 101 series include "Building a Shrine" and "Offerings."

Polytheism 101: Offerings

The second post in my "Polytheism 101" series will cover appropriate offerings for various pantheons, and what to do with them after they have been offered. I feel I should also note that though this series will be called "Polytheism 101," the ideas and methods shared here can be applied to just about any Pagan path.

While the short answer to the question of what to offer the gods is "whatever you have to give," I'm betting that if you came here, you're looking for a more substantial answer. So here it is, my meatiest, Manwich-iest of answers:

There are three main places to turn to when figuring out what to offer the gods. The first is to look at the region your gods are from. If you follow Hellenic deities, you might want to offer Greek food. If you are Heathen, try Germanic or Scandinavian foods. Second, look to the myths and symbology of the god in question. At a ritual I once held for Sekhmet, an attendee brought some pomegranate infused beer because they read the story in which Sekhmet was pacified with beer dyed red with pomegranates. A cauldron could be given to Dadga or raven figurines to Odin, as those things have mythological significance to those gods. Lastly, as you continue your research, you'll find out what kinds of things are proven (or at the very least, likely) to have been offered in antiquity. From there, it becomes much easier to figure out suitable modern or local counterparts to give, which is especially important if some of these things aren't easily acquired (such as offering venison instead of gazelle meat).

If you are at a complete beginner, following a more obscure god/pantheon, or otherwise at a loss of where to start, there are luckily a number of things that make great offerings to give to any deity of any pantheon. I've found that vegetables, fruit (dried or fresh), water, fruit juice, bread, and alcohol are always a safe bet. As far as items go, incense, flowers, coins, and pretty stones or crystals are also great catch-all offerings. As you gain intuition and familiarity with your deity and their pantheon, it will go a long way in deciding what to give.

As far as the disposal of offerings go, composting or burying them is probably the most common thing to do, though burning or sinking them also works. When disposing of offerings, it is important that you to be mindful of what you have offered and how you are disposing of it. For example, if you offer chocolate, don't leave it lying around in a park where someone's dog could find and eat it, and don't burn an offered item if it could produce harmful fumes. What exactly you do with them may also be determined by where you live; I live in an apartment, so burning or burying anything on the grounds is out of the question, and I'm well out of walking distance from the nearest lake or river, so I just put natural (e.g. flowers, rocks, etc.) and edible offerings under a tree for the wildlife to take. (As I said before, if you are going to do this, be mindful. You don't want to leave something that will make an animal sick!) Just use common sense, and you'll be fine.

The following is a list of more traditional offerings for the Irish, Kemetic, and Canaanite pantheons. I've compiled it from my own research, as well as a bit of personal experience. Hopefully it will serve as a good starting point for you as you continue to build your own practice.


Irish Celtic offerings

Edible offerings: Alcohol is a favorite among the Déithe. Mead, beer, and whiskey are the definite forerunners, though I've known them to enjoy wine or hard cider. Apple juice and milk are great non-alcoholic alternatives. Beef, pork, and salmon are ideal meat offerings. Apples, hazelnuts, cheese, and honey (or pretty much anything with honey in it) are also great choices, though I have found that hearty foods in general tend to go over well with the Déithe.

Incense: Juniper incense seems to be well-loved, as well as cedarwood and sage. I've also had great results with cinnamon, amber, and cedarwood. Basically, anything woody and earthy is a good choice.

Items: Flowers and other natural items, or things carved from stone or wood are great. Weapons, real or miniature, are popular with warrior deities. As humans were sacrificed in ancient Ireland, human effigies are a suitable and powerful offering, though in my opinion, they are best saved for special occasions.

Food offered to the Déithe likely was not eaten, so you may want to avoid doing so. The best way to dispose of any offering to them is to burn, bury, or sink it in a body of water. Man-made items should be destroyed (broken or otherwise rendered useless, as was done back in the day) then burned, buried, or sunk. However, since items won't spoil, I find that it is sometimes acceptable to leave them on the shrine for an extended period of time first. (Devotional jewelery is my exception to this rule; such items I keep and wear indefinitely.)


Kemetic offerings

Edible offerings: As far as food offerings go, it could be said that the Netjeru have simple tastes. Bread, water, and beer are are the most basic, yet most ideal offerings. Beef, milk, onions, dates, figs, and wine are also appropriate. Game such as gazelles was also offered, so I think deer or elk could make a suitable substitution.

Incense: Frankincense and myrrh were commonly offered, and are probably the best choices if you can get your hands on some, though the Netjeru seem to love resins in general. I've also had good results with lotus, cedar and sandalwood, jasmine, and fig. When offering incense, the most important thing to keep in mind is that some brands use dung as a binder. These should not be given to the Netjeru, as dung is considered impure for ritual purposes (for obvious reasons; I mean, it's poo). I've put together a list of pure incense brands at the end of this post.

Items: The ankh, ib (heart), feather of ma'at, and udjat (Eye of Horus) are all things that were offered to in ritual. Jewelery and perfume, or pretty much anything that's pretty will be enjoyed by the Netjeru. For as simple as their tastes in food offerings can be, when it comes to stuff, they enjoy fine things.

Food offered to the Netjeru was eaten by the priests, so if it is up to you if you would rather eat or bury them. Items which were offered were also used by priests, so you can use them yourself, in honor of the god(s) it was offered to, leave them at the shrine, or bury them. Fire was typically used for banishments or execrations, so I wouldn't burn anything that was given to the Netjeru.

Follow this link if you would like to read more about Kemetic offerings.


Canaanite offerings

Edible offerings: Wine, figs, pomegranates, dates, grapes, hummus, olive oil, flatbread, beef, lamb, and goat are some of the best things to offer. Do not offer pork to the Iluma; it wasn't offered in antiquity, and is likely considered inferior or impure. They prefer farmed meat over wild game.

Incense: When it comes to incense, the Iluma seem to share many of the same tastes as the Netjeru. Myrrh and frankincense are ideal, as are other resins and floral scents. Offerings of incense to the Iluma  also carry the same requirement of purity as those for the Netjeru.

Items: Perfume or olive oil infused with essential oils are always enjoyed by the Iluma. Flowers, art, and jewelery make great offerings as well.

Disposing of Canaanite offerings is much the same as with Kemetic ones; priests used or ate what was offered, and you may choose whether or not to do so yourself. The main difference is that Canaanites performed burnt offerings, so burning them is an option.

If you are interested in reading more, this post has an in-depth account of offerings preferred by the Iluma.


Pure incense brands:

• Nippon Kodo
• Auroshikha
• Shoyeido
• Satya Sai Baba Nag Champa
• Gonesh
• Auric Blends
• Pondicherry
• Fred Solls
• Devonshire Organics
• Goloka
• Spiritual Sky
• Wild Berry
• Maroma

Other posts in the Polytheism 101 series include "Building a Shrine" and "Ritual."

Polytheism 101: Building a Shrine

This is to be the first post in my "Polytheism 101" series. As the title says, it will cover the basics of putting a shrine together. I feel I should also note that though this series will be called "Polytheism 101," the ideas and methods shared here can be applied to just about any Pagan path.

How you decorate a shrine is largely a personal matter. Your own taste, which tradition you follow, and which gods you honor - if any in particular - will determine what exactly your shrine ends up looking like. Big or small, extravagant or simple, the sky's the limit. So my focus here will be about the various items that are used for ritual and devotional purposes.

Items that are commonly used for a shrine are a pitcher and bowl for libations, a small dish and cup for food offerings, an incense holder, a candle holder, a bell (or a sistrum or drum), and a deity image or religious symbol. I set up these items as an example in the following picture:

I set up this sample shrine on an empty spot on my dresser. For your own shrine, any such clear surface will do, but I do prefer my shrines to have an entire surface all to themselves (such as on a shelf) to ensure that any clutter doesn't encroach on the shrine space. As for items, for my libation bowl and pitcher, I used a cruet that I bought at a supermarket for $3, and an onyx bowl that was given to me as a gift. For an offering dish, I just re-purposed a saucer from my cupboards. The tea light candle holder and "incense holder" (it's just a pretty dish I liked and put one of those Morning Star incense tiles in it) were purchased at a craft store for $1 each. The offering glass was a thrift store find for about a dollar, and as you can see, the deity image is just a picture of Wesir that I printed from my computer. My splurge item is the bell, which I got at a local metaphysical shop for about $6 or $7. The reason I'm explaining where I acquired everything and for how much is to demonstrate that a shrine can be assembled easily and for little cost.

I remember that as a young pagan, I would often read about all of the things one "needed" in order to practice a certain path or tradition successfully, and feel overwhelmed by them. Such lists (especially those for more Pagan/Wiccan leaning practices) are often quite long, and the task of acquiring so many things can be very daunting to anyone who is practicing casually or in secret, or who has a limited working space or tight budget. Yet the more experienced I became, the more practicality became my rule of thumb. You don't need a wand, special robes, or crystals. Even an athame can be left by the wayside when you have a perfectly good index finger to direct energy.

Even my list, as short as it is, shouldn't be seen as a list of requirements that you absolutely need to be a decent polytheist. The items on this list are the things that have proven to be the most used in my own years of experience. But if you feel that you would rather offer a glass of water instead of making a libation, then obviously you can forgo the pitcher and bowl. If you would rather clap your hands or use your voice, then you can skip the bell. Even the deity image/symbol isn't a necessity, as not everyone finds visual foci useful.

You can see more examples of shrines in my post about 'Anatu and Athtartu,  and in last year's posts about Wep Ronpet and the Day of Chewing Onions for Bast. There is also the website Shrine Beautiful, which features shrines, both simple and ornate, from many different paths.


Other posts in the Polytheism 101 series include "Offerings" and "Ritual."

The Ultimate Cocktail: Mixing Pantheons

When I first started this blog, I thought I'd be writing a lot more about what it's like to follow two different paths at the same time (and now three, because back then I wasn't a Canaanite polytheist yet). It's pretty clear now that the reason that I only write about them separately is because I keep them separate in practice. It only makes sense that my blog would follow that same pattern. But here at long last, I have something that involves all three.

One issue that pops up on various forums and groups is whether or not it is appropriate to follow multiple spiritual traditions or paths, and how to go about doing so. It is this issue that I'm going to address today.

To anyone who has has read this blog before, it must be unsurprising to hear me say that I think it is absolutely appropriate to honor more than one pantheon of deities. I'm sure it is also unsurprising to hear me say that what I recommend is keeping your practices separate. The only real trick to this is keeping a separate shrine for each pantheon, and after that, tailoring your rituals to each specific path in regard to that path's gods, their mythology, and the culture from which they come.

One of the most basic reasons I say this is because once you've separated everything, it's easier to get a sense of what works well for each pantheon, and which deities or practices (if any) mesh well. Another important thing to consider is that one thing that is acceptable to one pantheon's practice might be taboo in another. Blood, for example, can be a powerful offering to certain Celtic deities, but in certain Kemetic religions, blood is fairly widely considered to be an inappropriate thing to have at a shrine. Other such offerings include pork (which was never named in Canaanite texts as as an offering to the Iluma) or incense made with dung as a binder (which is a big no-no in both Kemetic and Canaanite traditions). Kemetic and Canaanite religions also often require some form of purification before ritual, whereas ritual purification isn't as commonly practiced in Celtic traditions.

So let's say you're working with two different pantheons of deities, and you are keeping those paths completely separated. How do you make this work? How do you strike balance between them and give a fair share of your time and effort to each?

Well, if you have a path that is primary, that pretty much solves the problem right there. You may only practice your secondary path as you see fit, or perhaps once every month or so. However, if that's not the case, one thing that works well is dividing ritual time evenly between the pantheons. For example, if the Netjeru get offerings one day, the next offering can be made to the Déithe. Or you can alternate between weeks or months (or whichever time period works for you), with the Netjeru getting all of the offerings and rituals for one month, and the Déithe getting all of the offerings/rituals the following month.

The only issue with this is that every now and then you may feel the need, either on your end or the gods', to focus on one deity or pantheon for weeks or even months at a time. A pantheon might suddenly become primary (if one wasn't before), or whichever pantheon was primary might change for a while. For well over a year, I was focused very heavily on my Kemetic path, but once I established my Canaanite shrine, my path was almost exclusively dedicated to 'Anatu and 'Athtartu for about three months. In my experience, the gods tend to be quite understanding when it comes to realizing what you need at any point in time. Besides, another deity's turn probably won't be far behind. The key to this is that it requires a certain amount of attention and intuition to maintain this balance, to know when which god wants what when, but you'll get better at it as you go along.

However, I know from experience that it's not always possible to have the space to set up two or three (or more) different shrines. And I'm sure there are also cases in which keeping them separate just doesn't work for an individual. If you want to mix different paths into a singular practice, the most important thing to keep in mind is what is considered acceptable to the deities (purification, blood, etc.), which I mentioned before. If I had a shrine to the Iluma and Déithe, I would refrain from offering "impure" incense at that shrine. I might not offer pork, either. Pig may make a wonderful offering for Celtic gods, but not so much for the gods of Canaan. If I felt I needed to give Mannanan Mac Lir some bacon, I might make a small, temporary shrine elsewhere, and offer it there. Again, attention and intuition are very important here. As you go along, the gods will let you know where the lines are.

While I will freely admit that I don't get the appeal of mixing deities of different pantheons into one practice, the recon-snob in me can't make too much of a fuss about it, because it was done in ancient times. Greeks honored Heru and Anpu as Horus and Anubis, and Egyptians honored 'Anatu and Yamu as Anat and Yam. Moreover, the Greeks and Egyptians honored these gods within the religious contexts into which the deities were adopted. I know that there are plenty of discussions as to how appropriate doing a similar thing in modern times is, and I think there are good points on both sides. But in the end, I think that as modern polytheists, honoring our gods and having respect for them and their cultures is the most important thing.

Diancecht Is Not a Jerk

A while back, a well-meaning friend gave me a book called "A Druid's Herbal for the Sacred Earth Year." While I have to admit that the book does have some useful information as far as herbology goes, the mythological and theological approach the author took was frustrating, to say the least. I can't help it; anytime someone goes around saying that Morrighan is a triple goddess, I kind of want to smack them. (She isn't. The triple goddess concept is not Celtic.)

Now, I could continue to pick apart all the nonsense the author said about Morrighan, but I'll settle for telling you that if you decide to read or have read that book, you might as well disregard everything the author says about Morrighan. Today, there's another deity I feel I need to stand up for. And that god is Diancecht.

Poor Diancecht has such a bad reputation. In the retelling of his story in "A Druid's Herbal," as well as retellings I've heard many other Pagans repeat, it's the same thing. "He's angry! He's jealous! He murdered his son!" Ok, so that last one may be true, but that's not what I'm going to focus on at the moment. It is the words "angry" and "jealous" that I get hung up on when people try to tell his myth, and I'm going to try to explain why.

The story in question occurs after the battle between the Tuatha Dé Danann and the Fir Bolg. Nuadu's hand had been cut off, and Diancecht created for him a new one made of silver, which had the movement of a real hand. However, Diancecht's son Miach wasn't at all satisfied with this cure. Miach restored Nuadu's severed hand, healing the king. It is at this point that Diancecht seems to loose his shit. He threw his sword at Miach's head, cutting into the flesh. Miach healed himself, and Diancecht struck him again, this time cutting into the bone. Again Miach healed himself, and for a third time Diancecht struck him, cutting into his brain and killing him instantly. Diancecht buried his son, and 365 herbs grew from the grave, the same number as the joints and sinews of his body. At that point Airmed, Diancecht's daughter and Miach's sister, spread her cloak on the ground and picked and sorted the herbs according to their properties. Diancecht then mixed up all of the herbs, so that no one knows all of their healing properties.

Now I'm going to talk about the texts themselves, how I interpret them, and why. If you want to read them for yourself, translations can be found here and here.

Regarding Diancecht's "jealousy" about Nuadu's newly healed hand, one of the texts says simply that "Dian Cecht did not like that cure." Another says "But Diancecht was vexed when he saw his son doing a better cure, than himself..." Admittedly, it is an argument of semantics to say that Diancecht's annoyance at his son doing better cure isn't the same as saying that he was jealous of it, but I will take on that argument.

In this story, I look at Diancechet as a god of doctors, healers, and physicians. Miach is also a god of healing, but more than that, I see him as a god of regeneration. Therefore, to say that Diancecht was annoyed by his son's cure or that he simply didn't like it, is a mythological statement of fact. Humans cannot regenerate missing appendages. Until recently, reattaching missing body parts was a medical impossibility, and even now the process is iffy. This is why I say Diancecht's dislike of Miach's cure was not borne of jealousy. It is simply a statement that Miach's cure was something outside the scope of human ability.

So how do you get from disliking something that someone does, to repeatedly hurling a sword at that someone's head? Well, for one thing, I think this is another exploration of human ability. Flesh wounds and broken bones can heal on their own, barring any sort of infection, but once you damage the brain, you're pretty much screwed unless you have immediate and extensive medical care. In some movies, damaging the brain is even how you kill zombies, like in "Shaun of the Dead." Remove the head or destroy the brain, right?

More significantly, I see this as a sort of origin story of healing herbs. Just think about it - from the grave of the god of healing and regeneration comes 365 herbs, each corresponding to his body parts. In a mythological sense, the herbs that heal us could have only come from there. And in this sense, Diancecht's act is one of necessity, for without the felling and burial of Miach, we would have no medicine. Likewise, I see Diancecht's scattering of Aired's collection of these herbs as an explanation of their complexity. Being a competent herbologist takes years of study, and even so, no matter how experienced you are, there is always more to learn and discover.

Some may think that my interpretation of this myth is a stretch, but one has to remember that mythology is metaphor. In my experience, myths are about more than they appear to be on the surface. So the next time you tell this story, or hear someone else doing so, please don't be so hard on Diancecht. He is not a villain. He is one of the Tuatha Dé Danann. He is a god.

Reconnecting

In June 2011, Temple of the River closed. It was my spiritual home for nearly six years, and while I learned many amazing things and met one of my best friends there, by the time its doors closed, I must admit that I was somewhat relieved to see it's demise. For a number of reasons, the last couple of years at the temple were very difficult for me. Its focus became so external that, as a result, my own energy was spent promoting the temple rather than nurturing my own spirituality. It happened so slowly that I didn't notice it until one day I just realized how utterly disconnected I felt from my practice and my gods. Still, I continued. For all the other troubles there were, I believed in what the temple was doing, and I wanted it to go on. But things continued to decline, and my spirituality continued to feel more and more hollow. My connection with my gods continued to wane. And still, because of my loyalty, because of everything that I had learned, I continued. And then one day, my then-teacher sent me an email, saying that, "Tonight I felt a great outrage from the Mórríghan. I have spoken closely with Lugh and Mórríghan about your apprenticeship and they are quite clear that you are out of second chances."

As I said, by that point, I had almost no remaining connection to my gods. And whatever was left was shattered by that declaration. Despite the fact that part of me knew how ridiculous his claim was, the other part of me, the part that was still the submissive student, figured that he had to be right. He knew a lot of things, had been my trusted teacher and priest for years. If anyone could know such a thing, it had to be him, right? The sensible part told myself that if this was correct, Morrighan herself would have told me so - and yet I felt no such outrage. But on the other hand, I wasn't feeling much of anything. The frightened part of myself said the silence was proof that Morrighan had to be pissed off at me. She was pissed off because I was ignoring her, because I was a terrible student, and because I was being whiny and weak for not doing more for the temple, despite all I had already given and how exhausted and strained I had become. I was a failure, plain and simple. I was not worth Morrighan's time. I was not worth any god's time.

For a couple of months after I left the temple, my spirituality was more or less nonexistent. The gods and the lore were always in the back of my mind, but I couldn't bring myself to do much of anything about it. There were still too many wounds that were still too fresh. Then I got into Kemetic religion, and learning about something so different helped to ease me back into a spiritual state of being. As a result, I was able to make more of an effort to reestablish a connection with my Celtic beliefs and practices. It wasn't much; an Imbolc celebration here, a little offering there, and maybe a couple of prayers in between. Still, there wasn't much feedback. By the time I wrote this post, I had realized that my Celtic practices still carried too many negative associations from my time at the temple, and thus decided to set them aside altogether to focus on my Kemetic ones. That post was a dedication to Morrighan and An Badb Cath before I went on my way, in case I would never be able to return to them.

Then something amazing happened. Last week, I felt a calling. I sat down in front of my long-neglected Celtic altar, and felt inspired to make offerings to Morrighan. It had been months since I had done any such thing, and the feeling I got from her was unlike anything I'd experienced before. In most ways she was the same; Morrighan's presence always felt to me like I was being wrapped in a darkness that was all at once beautiful, powerful, and comforting. But this time there was something more. There was a loving, caring, warm welcome. I was the child, confused and unhappy, who had to go her own way for a while; she was the mother who let me go, knowing that I had to have my own adventures and make my own mistakes. That offering was the homecoming. She welcomed me with a hug and a glad heart, as if to say, "you're finally here. I've been waiting for you, and I'm so happy to have you back. Welcome home!"

I finally feel like I can return to my Celtic practices. They feel new, and whole, and most importantly, they feel like mine. I doubt that Morrighan was ever outraged at me. I don't know why my former teacher told me such a thing. Maybe he was mistaken, maybe he was projecting his own frustrations, maybe he was trying to manipulate me. I don't think I'll ever know, but at this point, it doesn't matter anymore. I believe that Morrighan wanted me to go my own way for a while and figure things out for myself. I also believe that she called me when she knew I sorted my issues out, and that she knew I'd come back. Regardless of what happened at the temple, or what baggage it left me with, I know now that Morrighan is indeed my goddess, and that I am her child. I know that she wants me around, that she loves me. I see now that the rough road was worth it for this affirmation.

The reason I am sharing all of this is not to air my dirty laundry on a public forum. I have said the things that I have said only because they are a part of my story of uncertainty and disconnection. I have said the things I have said to show how shattered my faith had become, and subsequently, how it became restored. I have said these things with the hope of encouraging my fellow Pagans. Everyone goes through moments of spiritual dissonance. Sometimes they are severe and persistent, sometimes they have a singular cause, sometimes they seem to come from nowhere. Sometimes overcoming them requires patience and persistence, sometimes it requires going another way for a while. All we can do in the meantime is remind ourselves that spiritual life is a journey. Sometimes we get lost (or only think we get lost), but all we can do is keep going. It is only when we've stopped that we've truly lost our way.

Praise to The Great Queen!

Happy Samhain!

Used with permission by Jenny Mathiasson. Thanks, Jenny!

I know that this comic is Kemetic, and that Samhain is a Celtic holiday, but I like to think that this sentiment applies to everyone, no matter the religious or spiritual path (or lack thereof).  For me, the most important part of Samhain is honoring my ancestors.  There are Kemetic holidays with the same purpose, but like a bad Kemetic practitioner, I haven't celebrated any of those yet.  It is said that the veil between the worlds is thinnest at Samhain, and maybe it's a lifetime of adoring Halloween, over a decade and a half of being Pagan, or the dramatic shift of the seasons towards Winter, but I swear I can feel it.

My observance of Samhain this year will be centered around tending a special shrine for them.  Yet the important part will come after the day's festivities are over.  I hate to admit that in the past I haven't been diligent about my ancestor worship, but that's something I've recently decided to work on.  After all, their presence in our lives isn't restricted to just one day of the year. They are always with us, both figuratively, and in a very real sense. It's because of our ancestors that we're here. We literally owe them our lives. We come from their blood, some of them share our memories, and they help shape our experiences and worldview.

Parties are all well and good, but they really do deserve more than one night.

The Misconception of Brighid (PBP)

Brighid is not a triple goddess.

There. I said it.

Brighid is a goddess of fire, but I think it is more fitting to say that she is the goddess of life-giving fire on Earth. This implies the more positive, helpful aspects of fire. She is a goddess of the hearth, of the fire that cooks our food, keeps us warm, and protects us. She is also a goddess of the creative aspects of fire, be it the fire of a forge, or the spark of inspiration. Lastly, she represents fire as the flame of life and healing. And this is all apt. These aspects are all attested to in the myth of the Cath Magh Tuireadh, where she is described as such: "Brigit, that was a woman of poetry, and poets worshipped her, for her sway was very great and very noble. And she was a woman of healing along with that, and a woman of smith's work, and it was she first made the whistle for calling one to another through the night."

A handful of modern Pagans cite Cormac's Glossary for the Brighid as triple goddess theory. He wrote "Brigit, i. e. a female poet, daughter of the Dagda. This Brigit is a poetess, or a woman of poetry, i. e. Brigit a goddess whom poets worshipped, for very great and very noble was her superintendence. Therefore they call her goddess of poets by this name. Whose sisters were Brigit, woman of healing, Brigit, woman of smith-work, i. e. goddesses, from whose names with all lrishmen Brigit was called a goddess. Brigit then, i. e. brco-saigit, a fiery arrow."

If we take this definition literally, the problem with it is that she is clearly defined as one three separate individuals, and thus the triple goddess idea has no merit there. What furthers this problem is the fact that these sisters are never mentioned in Brighid's genealogy (her sisters are often identified as Eire, Podia, Banba, and Eado), and the same is true for Dadga, who only has one Brighid as a daughter. If we read into this definition an a more figurative sense, that still doesn't solve the issue. It leads me to think that, if anything, this was Cormac's metaphor for the many talents and spheres of influence Brighid has. And again, this triple goddess Brighid notion is not attested to in any of the myths, which leads me to believe that good ol' Cormac's definition was something of a fluke.

I think that it is because of Brighid's broad range of aspects that modern Pagans and Wiccans tend to refer to her as a triple goddess, despite the fact that the idea of a triple goddess did not exist in ancient Ireland, and, as I have said, nowhere in myth is Brighid referred to as such. Yes, the argument can be made that Brighid as triple goddess is merely a modern interpretation of her, but I would say that she is such an amazing goddess as she is, there is no reason to try to redefine her, or make her into something that she is not. Aside from being inaccurate, I feel that giving Brighid the title of triple goddess is an oversimplification. Why can't she be one whole being who encompasses the ideas of poetry, healing, and smithing/creation? Why must Pagans separate these aspects of her? Doing so only diminishes her.

Pagan Blog Project

Medb, Queen of Connacht (PBP)

Queen Medb is probably my favorite mythological character. She is a self-assured woman with so much attitude and pride, she leads her entire province to war so that she will not be shown up by her husband, Ailill. The ensuing events, known as the saga of the Táin Bó Cúailnge, is set off when Ailill remarks that she is much better of now than the day they married. Medb's response is both indignant and confident, painting a vivid picture of who she is as a character. It also happens so be my all-time favorite Medb moment:

"The High King of Erin himself was my father, Eocho Fedlech son of Finn, by name, who was son of Findoman, son of Finden, son of Findguin, son of Rogen Ruad, son of Rigen, son of Blathacht, son of Beothacht, son of Enna Agnech, son of Oengus Turbech. Of daughters, had he six: Derbriu, Ethne and Ele, Clothru, Mugain and Medb, myself, that was the noblest and seemliest of them.

"I was the goodliest of them in bounty and gift-giving, in riches and treasures. I was best of them in battle and strife and combat. I had fifteen hundred royal mercenaries, the sons of those exiled from their own land, and as many more of the sons of freemen of the land. And there were ten men with every one of these hirelings, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one hireling with every hireling. These were as a standing household-guard; hence my father bestowed one of the five provinces of Erin upon me, even the province of Cruachan; wherefore 'Medb of Cruachan' am I called.

"Men came from Finn son of Ross Ruad, king of Leinster, to seek me for a wife, and I refused him; and from Carbre Niafer son of Ross Ruad, king of Temair, to woo me, and I refused him; and they came from Conchobar son of Fachtna Fathach, king of Ulster, and I refused him in like wise. They came from Eocho Bec, and I went not; for it is I that exacted a singular bride-gift, such as no woman before me had ever required of a man of the men of Erin, namely, a husband without avarice, without jealousy, without fear.

"For should he be mean, the man with whom I should live, we would be ill-matched together, inasmuch as I am great in grace and gift-giving, and it would be a disgrace if I should be more generous than he, while no disgrace would it be were one as great as the other. Were my husband a coward, it would be as unfit for us to be mated, for I by myself and alone break battles and fights and combats, and it would be a reproach for my husband should his wife be more full of life than himself, and no reproach our being equally bold. Should he be jealous, the husband with whom I should live, that too would not suit me, for there never was a time that I had not my paramour.

"Howbeit, such a husband have I found in you, Ailill son of Ross Ruad of Leinster. You are not churlish; you are not jealous; you are not a sluggard. When we wed, I gave a gift to you of clothing enough for twelve men, a chariot worth thrice seven bondmaids, the breadth of thy face of red gold, and the weight of thy left forearm of silvered bronze. Whoever brings shame and sorrow and madness upon you, it is to me the compensation belongs, for a kept man is what you are."

Pagan Blog Project

Dolmen: A Story and a Soapbox (PBP)

About six and a half years ago, I found myself in one of the most magical places in the world; a small farm nestled atop the bluffs of Southeastern Minnesota. It was dawn, and I, in the company of my teacher and three fellow students, stood on a grassy peak that overlooked the farm, the ravine below, and the rolling, forested landscape that lay beyond. Everything was obscured by mist, making even the rising sun just a soft blur of light. For a long time we stood there, watching the sun climb higher as the mist dissipated.

Then we got to work. We had a dolmen to build!

Only weeks before, I had joined a Celtic polytheist temple, and didn’t even know what a dolmen was. My newfound teacher had been hatching plans to build one for a friend of his, and was determined to get his new students in on the action. His initial explanation was as simple as, “you know what Stonehenge is? Well, it'll be like that, but smaller.” He went on to explain that they were places of great spiritual power, often thought to be tombs, as well as homes to the spirits, and gateways to the Otherworld. Dolmens are often aligned with significant solar events, such as sunrises/sunsets on equinoxes and solstices. Our own dolmen was measured it to align to the sunrise on Samhain, and was dedicated to the spirits of those who have been victims of torture and war,  so they would have a peaceful place to rest.

And here it is, the Great Minnesota Dolmen:

As I was writing this post the other day, it came to my attention that Houston County (where the dolmen was built) is the latest target of mining companies for frac sand mining, a practice that has a horrific ecological impact. I hope that any of you who’ve taken the time to read this post will check out this website for more information, and sign the petition to stop the mining and protect the land: http://www.sandpointtimes.com/houston/

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Crows of Battle (Pagan Blog Project)

Since delving into Kemetic religion a few months ago, I have to some extent set aside my Celtic devotions. It wasn’t entirely unintentional, since I wanted to fully devote myself to this new experience and learn all I could about the Egyptian gods and practices. I know that the Deithe (the gods) are still there, that they are patient, but sometimes I feel bad for neglecting them. Especially Morrighan, The Great Queen, and An Badb Cath, The Battle Crow, as they are the gods I am closest to, and the gods who have helped me become the person that I am now. I know it’s not the grandest of gestures, but I thought I’d devote a post to these amazing goddesses and what they have given me.

First there’s Morrighan, who I sometimes affectionately refer to as “the first half of my patron.” She can be aloof or distant in that she doesn’t come knocking on my brain telling me what she wants. It’s almost like she expects her devotees to know what is required of them. She is The Great Queen, after all, and a queen can always expect to be treated with the honor she deserves. Yet more than anything, what distinguishes Morrighan is a certain coolness she has about her, wrapped around a quiet, unyielding strength.

My relationship to her has always been an interesting one…. I never felt intimidated or put off by her as I know some people are, but she certainly wasn’t waiting for me with a smile and a hug. I think the best way I can describe it is as a relationship between a child and a stern parent. Yes, she cares; she is there to guide, to give advice… but she sure as hell isn’t going to coddle me. I had a strict and stifling Catholic upbringing, and was thus instilled with toxic levels of meekness and shame. Morrighan has been my antidote to this. She doesn't let me pout or feel sorry for myself. She tells me to stand up, and it was with her help that I found my confidence and am learning my self-worth.

If Morrighan is my stern parent, then An Badb Cath (the other half of my patron) is my wild aunt. If Morrighan is the calm before the storm,  The Red-mouthed Badb is the electricity that you can feel in the air and makes your hair stand up on end. She is ecstatic rage; unbridled, untamable, unpredictable passionate energy. She wants nothing more than for me to express myself. And by “express myself,” I don’t mean “express my happy feelings with finger paints.” I’m talking about those nasty, ugly feelings, the ones that people are discouraged from having, much less expressing. Not only did she teach me that it is ok to be angry (which was a revolutionary idea to me with the way I was raised), she taught me that it is ok to let myself feel it. Instead of being ashamed of my feelings and hiding them in some dark corner of my soul where they would fester and grow until they consumed me, I learned to accept them, to look at them objectively and allow them to run their course.

To me, these goddesses are proof that you can’t deny what is ugly and unpleasant in your life or yourself. You have to face those things, embrace them even. The world is made up of night and day, dark and light. They certainly aren’t happy, cuddly goddesses, but it is because of their lessons that I am as whole and happy a person as I am today. Because of this, I know what wherever my spiritual path leads, I will always have a place in my heart for the Crows of Battle.

Pagan Blog Project

Where I Fit In

In the Kemetic community, I often hear people talk about a longstanding fascination with Ancient Egypt.  Their interest in the art, culture, mythology, gods, etc., is often what inspires such individuals to seek out Kemetic faith.  I love hearing these stories because they are often told with a feeling that they have come home.  Or at the very least, with the humor that comes with realizing something ridiculously obvious, like when someone spends 15 minutes looking for their keys, only to find that they were in their hands the whole time.

But those stories also make me feel lost.  I’m sure I cannot be the only budding Kemetic for whom this is true, but I had about as little interest in AE as a person could possibly have.  Even the gods I wasn’t terribly interested in, other than one or two specific Names.  Being a Polytheist, my relationship with Bast wasn't too surprising.  The big surprise was that, as I mentioned in my first post, it was she who nudged me towards Kemetic Orthodoxy, despite the fact that I was very hesitant about it at many points along the way.  The nerd in me loves learning, so there was some allure there in learning about Kemetic religion, and specifically KO... but other than that sort of curiosity that I feel for most things, there was nothing special I felt about Ancient Egypt.  No fascination, no insightful childhood story, no lightening bolt moment.

Conversely, I’ve always had a deep interest in Celtic culture and deities.  I had that "coming home" feeling when I joined my (now former) temple and began learning Seancreideamh, the Old Belief.  The most important part of my personal beliefs as a whole are the virtues I've gleaned from Irish myth; ideals to achieve honor, such as loyalty, honesty, hospitality, seeking justice (and more importantly, seeking the right action to achieve justice), and treating others with kindness.  These are principles that I’ve always felt, and finding a culture and religion that fit these sentiments was very important for my walk upon that spiritual path.

A few weeks ago, while I was on one of my nightly walks, I was pondering for the millionth time where exactly I fit into Kemetic belief, or how it fit me.  I don’t remember exactly how I came to the conclusion, but it must have been my lightening bolt at last: Ma’at.  Balance, truth, justice, and much more, I’m sure.  These very virtues are mirrored in Celtic belief, and in the ideals that have shaped me more than anything else as I’ve tried to live by them.

So what was I saying about ridiculously obvious things?

Anyway, that seems to have been the turning point for me.  I had finally found where I fit into this spiritual path, and I’m happy to say that I feel like I am beginning to understand and appreciate who the Netjeru are any what the Egyptian myths are really about.  My interest in the life and culture is even growing to match.  I wouldn’t say I’ll be ready to join in any discussions of the Umpteenth Dynasty and Pharaoh Fantabulous anytime soon, but at least I’ve got a place to start.

The Start of Something New

I've never been very good at introductions.  Actually, there are a lot of things that I've never been very good at, but right now, introductions are the ones that count.  So I'll just jump right in....

Right now, I'm at an interesting place spiritually.  For six years I've identified as a Celtic Polytheist (though some just called me "druid"), yet for the last year or so I've wanted to expand my spiritual horizons, or something corny like that.  And then came Bast.  I've never had more than a passing interest in Ancient Egyptian religion, yet I found Bast to be very accessible.  She's well-known even today, and in my experience is all around very likable.  Also, she has an undeniable sort of appeal to someone who loves cats and is the proud momma of one.  Anyway, my own personal devotion to the goddess led to a desire to find a more culturally specific way to do so, which I have been searching for over the last couple of months.  All of that searching eventually led me to Kemetic Orthodoxy, whose beginner's classes I will be starting later this month.

At first it was very difficult to even picture the two paths being practiced side by side, much less together, and for a while I even resisted doing so.  I think I just didn't know how to reconcile the two, since they come from very different parts of the world, and on the outside they seem so different.  Also... I was kind of afraid.  It sounds silly to admit to myself now, but I was afraid that my new found devotion for the Kemetic gods would somehow get in the way of or diminish the relationship that I have with my beloved Celtic gods.  I was afraid that the differences ran so deep that they wouldn't get along or want to share.

Happily, I have since found that that is not the case.  (Gods tend to be a bit more mature than that!)  But there are a lot of  strange and interesting things about following two religious paths.  So to bring this all around to the point, that's what this blog is about.  It's going to be my place to muse and speculate, to try to figure out all the things that have to do with being a newly claimed Celtic/Kemetic Polytheist, Kemetic Druid, or Chick Who Has No Idea What She's Doing.